Goodbyes

During our recent trip to the UK we met up with Dan's childhood friends for a BBQ without any gas, a random group game about an overturned fruit bowl and a freezing cold swim in the rainy Brighton sea. It was absolutely perfect!

There's something uniquely comforting being with people you've known for a long time and its by far the best thing about travelling back home. I loved listening to Dans friends reminisce about growing up together. I loved getting together with my own childhood friends in Wales. There's an unconditional love between people who started school together, studied together, stood beside each other at weddings and love each others children.

It's a given that our children won't grow up with the same group of children. Families move in and out of this transient life on short term work contracts. The frequency of farewells seems to be increasing but the ease of doing it has not. It's goodbye Bay Area, hello affordable living for those who leave. There has been an assault course of goodbyes this summer.

We said goodbye to British Cat who was my first Bay Area friend and who is by coincidence moving back to the area of the UK we left (I've already tried to sell her our old hoover). How do you thank someone enough for being there during the highs and lows of your Californian life?

We said goodbye to my sweet neighbour Meredith who has lived opposite us for almost four years. How do you thank someone enough for pretending to be dead so your daughter can use her new forensics science kit?

It's not just our goodbyes. This summer Annie's best friend Charlotte announced she was moving to New York. Charlotte has loved our daughter as much as we do and I was as sad as Annie to say goodbye to her.

We brought the Californian sunshine to Wales, and for a few days enjoyed some of the best family time I've ever had, especially at the beach near my parents home. I explained to Annie that Welsh people are the salt of the earth, they'll do anything for you, they have hearts of gold. That was when she pointed to the lady in her underwear paddling in the sea next to us with a large tattoo on her back that said  'Mad Welsh Bastard’.  

And in that paragraph I've described the epitome of Welshness. 

California?

Swansea?

Our family time included a camping trip to Aberystwyth in my parents motor home (their new baby), horse riding along the beach and my brother and I finally convincing our parents to play the board game Game of Life after 30 years (it's a really crap game).

When Tom asked me if he could cross the river, I just assumed he would use the stepping stones.

Enjoying Wales, where there really are too many people and not enough surnames. 

My Family

I ran the Swansea Half Marathon which was my first time back in my Uni town for 15 years. It was incredible to explore the city by running it surrounded by Welsh people. I ran it in 2 hours 17 mins, which was ok for a first try and I loved every minute of it. Well except maybe the final mile. It wasn't the first time I've wanted to crawl along the cobbled stones of Wind Street.

To combat a rainy day I headed to the local leisure centre to use the gym. Despite offering to sign whatever waiver was needed the receptionist insisted I had to have an induction but explained that the 'Induction Guy' had gone missing. She nodded towards a group of gym-goers waiting in the cafe for him to return. I asked whether anyone had tried to find him, was he at home or at work? Was he ok? She explained that it wasn't her job to look for him but said I could call him if I wanted to since I seemed so concerned. She dialled his number and we had a nice chat about his job. By the time I'd finished my run he was back in the gym happily helping someone bounce on a giant ball. Even though I tried to, I never signed a waiver nor paid to use the gym. 

Annie and I got to visit the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff to watch Cold Play. It was incredible to go back to the Stadium I used to work in and show Annie the city I used to be a part of.  Plus we got to send my wonderful friend Nadia a special birthday message although I couldn't help but begrudge the fact that it was the first time I've paid for a ticket there in years!

Dan was in Russia for 5 weeks visiting some stadiums of his own. Seven matches over 16 days at the Fifa Confederations Cup. Apparently he calls that hard work! 

Our short term life as renters in California is in contrast to most of our British friends who have really grown up houses! Some of you actually have wine fridges, sofas in your gardens and separate dining rooms! I always come back to California with house envy. We didn't get to see many of you this time but did visit Berkshire to do a rental inspection of our own property. 

It's the first time we've seen the house since the day we left six years ago. There are more cars in the street and the council hasn't done any weeding since we left. My neighbour opened her door having seen us approach in the distance and we ran towards each other to hug in the street. If we wanted to we could easily slot back into our old life. Which is both inconceivable and tempting. 

Ten years on at the church we married in, with our children - wonderful memories of all the people who came to be with us that day.

An old haunt; Bucklebury Farm. Sorry to friends we didn't get to see but after being apart for five weeks we wanted some family time together under the radar.

We spent time in Surrey with Dans parents - very special grandparent time since we only get to see them once a year.

We got to travel into London to play tourists

We visited Portsmouth and Winchester, where we spent the day at a great science museum. 

Best of all, Annie and Tom got to spend time with their cousins. Despite a big age gap they all enjoy each other's company. It's so lovely seeing them together,

The most devastating, unfathomable goodbye was to my 30 year old cousin Simon. He had been living life to the full in between managing chemo treatments in London but unexpectedly passed away a few days after returning from the British Lions tour of New Zealand. I was glad to be in Wales with my family to grieve together. He lived the kind of life that we all pretend we do. He was the best of us all, the man you dream your son will become and he leaves a far bigger void in the world, our family and my heart than I can articulate.

"Life is not counted by the years you live, but by the love you gave and the things you did"

Saying goodbye to Wales was particularly hard this time. We flew back British Airways with Dans childhood friend and his family flying beside us on the Virgin flight - it was like flying home with our wingmen. Their natural, effortless friendship eased us gently back into American life.

Playing tourists at the Japanese Gardens

No more goodbyes please - not for a while at least.

Some of you have very kindly asked about donating in Simon's memory. Donations can be made to the Royal Marsden Hospital Charity. Lloyds Bank 30-97-86 Account # 00982036 Reference 0080 - Simon Edwards.