Foxitt

Having spent the summer in the UK we returned fully re-charged and energized for whatever life was going to throw at us.

Which turned out to be a big pile of crap.

We arrived home to our rental increase letter tucked neatly into our front door. Tom's fever hit 104.4 that night and didn't go down for five days, which meant jet lag combined with urgent care visits, blood tests and a chest X-Ray. I got my lovely new denim jacket stolen with my driving license and bank cards in the pocket (more on that hideous crime later). And after four years at our wonderful Ben Fox School and three weeks into the start of the new term, the school district informed us that our children were being reassigned to a different school with immediate effect.

You're wondering about the denim jacket, arent you? ;-)

The school issue is complicated. The district has a contract with its teachers that limits class sizes to 25. The rapidly expanding Bay Area population means this number is under constant pressure, and Annie's class started this term with 26 children. We live furthest from Fox School. There was no consultation and no choice. Yes, we had questions, and no they can't force us to move. Friends talked to us about our rights, litigation, discrimination, unfairness. Our school PTA offered to establish a website to raise money for our legal fees, our teachers were incredibly vocal in supporting us and we had no idea the parents we do playdates and drink with are top lawyers at Google and Microsoft! So, tooled up with the best advice we could get, we broke the news to the children.

It was Annie who suggested that we shouldn't be fighting over something as precious as going to school. She said that she didn't want to be the reason why we had to spend time and money on lawyers. In a state where litigation is the natural next step, it was our eight year old who reminded us that our family does not get angry. So, with a huge amount of tears, confusion and sadness but with as much grace as we could muster we accepted the decision to leave.

Sounds a bit like how we reacted to the news of Brexitt, but we'll call this one Foxitt.

If we were in Wales a group of parents (including most of the local rugby club) would have descended on the district office and 'had a word' with the director. He would have been reminded that everyone remembered him as a small boy, he would have been ashamed at the embarrassment he had caused his family and we'd probably have got a few Six Nation tickets thrown in as compensation.

Talking of Wales, this was how we traveled back the day that Wales qualified for the Euro Semi-Finals:

I walked into Heathrow Arrivals Hall draped in the Welsh flag, anticipating at least a small murmur of congratulations. I was met with a stoney silence. Apparently some guy had just proposed to his girlfriend, hiring a band to play their 'special' song as he got down on one knee. Totally stole my thunder. 

The Edwards' spent a week in Centerparcs enjoying tree climbing, wall climbing, zip lining and other thrill seeking activity. Not wanting to miss out my Mum almost knocked herself out on the zip wire - in the children's playground. Yes, the one that is 2 feet off the ground.

Recovering from having his knee replaced my Dad hired a mobility scooter. Those vehicles are stealth! He was like Madge from 'Benidorm' scooting around the place, quietly appearing beside my Mum and I every time we talked about him. 

It started out as such a good idea - a kayak for six on a beautiful summer's day.  It was only as we got to the middle of the lake that it began to pour down with rain. We tried to hide under a tree soothing our wet faces with a rendition of that 1974 classic 'Rock the Boat', but eventually we admitted defeat and clambered back onto the shore. Just as the sun came out.

This is what life is really about - being with the Edwards family for my cousin Simon's 30th birthday. After a boozy Sunday lunch we all thought crossing the Ogmore stepping stones would be a GREAT idea. Tom was the first casualty in the water as Uncle Paul hugged some Pokemon. Typical Edwards afternoon really.

The Sweaties - Toni and Sam introduced us to their newest addition; wee Cameron. The number of wine bottles on the table indicate just how happy we were to see them.

Thirty years on (and as old as our parents were when they used to cart us around in the caravan) - childhood friends

We spent a week in the most amazing house in Devon, on the River Dart, with Dan's family to celebrate his parents 50th wedding anniversary (Yes, 50 years. No pressure then). 

And we took our nephews to London for a day along the Southbank.

Dinner with Coops and Polly - these girls have to be my friends forever because they know too much about me!

Sunset in the front garden of Winston Churchill's home with our best friends - does life get any better?

Back to the denim jacket. Last worn at the Cold Play concert Dan and I attended at the Levi Stadium. It was taken from our (clearly unlocked) car outside our friends house the next day. I reported the crime to the police, cancelled my bank cards and spent a morning at the DMV trying to obtain a new driving licence (yes this is Silicon Valley, no they dont accept credit cards). That night, as I pondered over how someone could cause me this much hassle, my friend Gladys called to tell me I'd left my new denim jacket hanging up at church. She'd found my cards in the pocket. Not quite the crime of the century after all.

Dan and I enjoyed an amazing concert at the Levi Stadium watching Cold Play. It was the single best concert we have ever been to; hearing them play Bowie's 'Life on Mars was very special and 'Adventure of a Lifetime' has become our new family anthem.

Another concert this month to hear the Specials play in the Warfield: an amazing band and venue. It was an evening to really let our hair down after Foxitt, and I can't think of two better friends to help us do that (albeit Darren probably needs more hair to actually let down).

Annie has started playing in the AYSO league, with Dan as the team referee! I'm loving how competitively vocal all the parents get on the sidelines. 

Tom on his first day of school at Fox. Little did we know he'd be asked to leave almost four weeks later.

The new school commute. 

On the first day at our new school a Mum who heard our story brought around two bottles of red wine to welcome us. The next day another Mum delivered a bagel breakfast to our door. We have a 3 minute cycle ride to the school, and both the children's teachers have gone out of their way to make the children feel safe, comfortable and loved. We didn't ask to move schools, but we couldn't have asked for a better school to move to. The first week has been rough and at times bumpy, but the children's courage is inspiring and there are worse things in life to get upset about.

As parents we dig our heels in when we fear our children will be hurt, assuming we know best, but sometimes things happen for reasons we can't see. Some of the best decisions we've made have been the ones that terrified us the most, where we have leaned in knowing that we can't control the outcome.  If we'd chosen to fight against this situation we'd be angry, frustrated, bitter and upset. And we're not, which makes accepting change much easier on the children. We made our decision as a family of four because we share this adventure of a lifetime. We have equipped our children with an understanding of how to deal with the bumps in life's road. And we chose grace. Which is the stronger alternative to anger.

This afternoon I invited over some school parents and children who we don't know. I smiled as I prepared the lunch because I remember doing this almost five years ago when we first moved to California; desperate to make ourselves part of our new community. This is everything I wanted before the summer started; a chance to re-ignite those exciting early days, getting to know people we haven't met yet. So in some ways, it feels like we're going back to the start! As Chris Martin once said.